I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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