doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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I think my nap took me to another dimension
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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