i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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