Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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