My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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