i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
