Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
