whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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