Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I party with great urgency now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
