But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
