Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
