i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
