He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
