Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
