It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
