She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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