Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So squirting runs in the family.
Found the puke drawer
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
