I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
