the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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