hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
