it's too hot outside to masturbate.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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