Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize