Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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