He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
