Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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