from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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