wanna go halves on a baby?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize