i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize