when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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