i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
