Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I supernannyed him into submission
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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