and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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