i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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