Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
