you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
