my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
