office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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