How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
