You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
