all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
