he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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