You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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