like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
