JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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