UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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