Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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