i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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