Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
