farters have to be the big spoon...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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