Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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