I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize