my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
