It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
