Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
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She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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