He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
