i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
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Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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