Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
