Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
