You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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