Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
