dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
