Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
