I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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